Friday, March 13, 2015


What I am to you is not me.  The lyric echoed through my head.  I t would not stop.  The judge was talking, the verdict and sentence we had waited months to hear—months—hell, years, maybe my whole conscious life—was being delivered and I could hear nothing but What I am to you is not me.  What I am to you is not me.  Not me, Not me.

My daughter, usually statuesque at 5’10’’ crumples next to me and her tears begin to flow.  Her sorrow hits me like a tsunami and yet I still know nothing of what has transpired—no decision of this court will end her pain—still only know What I am to you is not me.

Are you going to pay in some small way for the destruction you have wrought?  For the black poison you have pressed into our mouths year after year?  For the seed you have sown into the willing soil of our bodies and souls which grew and choked us out almost completely?

I look down at my hands; their shaking surprises me, and I will them to reach around hers and hold on.  Why are we here?  I wonder.  What does this day matter, these words I cannot hear, what do they matter?  I feel nothing as I try to enact comfort on her.  I feel nothing.  I hear nothing. 

Still, I am something.  Twenty four years ago my soul shouted, “I am something!” defying your malediction. What I am to you is not me. 

That is the only verdict that saved me.  That is the only verdict that will save my daughter. 

I whisper the benediction into her ear, “You are something,” my forehead pressed against her temple.  Then I pull her out of the courtroom and into the sun.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Tallyscrapper Ice Cream Social

Come on over to Tallyscrapperand check out the fun coming the weekend of National Scrapbooking Day!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Shimelle Challenge #6

This one is about scraplifting and making it yours, and I chose this layout by Erin (which she hates by the way!)

I used her technique of handwriting the title and journaling, using little tabs of paper for the journaling, using parantheses, and an overall minimal style. I like hers better still, but it was fun to do something different with these crazy pictures of my crazy son that were taken by Julie Ogden.

Shimelle Challenge #5

Wilna Furstenberg is AWESOME and scraps in a way that challenges me. I love her sandy beach colors and clean look even in the midst of alot of pieces. I would have been happier with this layout of my "flowers" looked more like propellers...which was what I was going for. Maybe I need to switch out the staples for screw shaped brads? We shall see. It was fun to incorporate the long photos, the white on white background and the cluster of little goodies from Wilna's inspiration piece.

Shimelle Challenge #4

For the next challenge, Shimelle challenged us to use grey, yellow and one other colour. I used pink, to be totally out of character!
I really would like to use some of these lighter, sweeter colours on my layouts, so I have been trying that more often.

Shimelle Challenge 3

This one was about mixing styles. I've noticed the last few days that several scrapbook sites have layouts with stencils on them and also spray inks seem to be hot right now. So, I tried a little of both. I know the journaling isn't complete, I have to find his assignment to remind myself of what his findings were!

Shimelle Challenge 2

The challenge was to mix at least four different lines of papers.
Um, I knew I had to go to the scrap bin and get out my stapler.
Thanks for the inspiration my daughter!

Here is a link to the challenge
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