Wednesday, July 29, 2009

No Worries!

Recently I've received a spate of emails about my status on facebook and The majority of them are in the line of being concerned because the writer is not "my friend" on one or both of these sites, and appear worried that we've had a falling out. As a way of reassurance and clarification I wanted to explain myself a bit. While a member of I "met" and had an online relationship with many, many people. I developed close, daily relationships with a few, and the rest were a great bunch of people that I got to know a little, but with whom neither I nor they had time to develop things into anything further.

Over the last several months since I decided to step down my involvement with the internet in general and in specific, I have greatly reduced my contacts on facebook. Why? Not because I am mad at any of those people, not because I don't care about them, but in fact because I did care...too much. I found that when I stopped visiting tally daily for the reasons I stated on tally, I was still embroiled in the lives of over 100 people that I didn't really have a relationship with. I worried about the problems they posted, I tried to comment, etc. Basically it only took me a couple of weeks to realize that unless I also cut my facebook list down to the people that I already had a steady, daily ongoing relationship with, I'd either have to stop reading facebook too, or I'd be in the same time crunch boat.

I realize from the outside that it seems cold to "unfriend" casual acquaintances from facebook, and I've explained myself to a handful of those 100 that noticed and were cool enough to confront me on why. Please know this: if I removed you from my friend list on facebook, you would know if it was because we had a falling out. When and if I have a problem with someone, I hit it head on, talk to them directly one on one and don't leave that conversation until there has been an impasse reached. Haven't had a conversation like that with me? Well then know that I think you are a great person, I hope all the best for you, but I had to be firm with myself and cut back on the number of people I was "following" in order to keep my life manageable.

As for my status on, I stated several months ago that I didn't know if I would be able to keep up there, and after revisiting two or three times, decided a few weeks ago to "close down" my status there so as not to lead anyone on about my involvement. Truth is I'm not there anymore, so I deleted all my contacts to make that clearer if anyone happen to look me up there. As I've stated before, my time at tally was amazing, and the inspiration I gained there was phenomenal. There was so many high quality people it was nearly a miracle, and hit my life just when I needed a place to call my scrapbook home. I've never seen any place like it, and I enjoyed it immensely. Yes, a couple of weeks ago as part of a larger post on those "unspeakable" things in our lives, I commented that I was disappointed in a few people that I met on that site. Yes, they do know who they are and why. But that has nothing to do with facebook or my status on tally. I'm in a new season of my life now, and it appears so is (last time I checked there was no new owner and the site certificate runs out at the end of July. If you are a fan, and I certainly don't blame you if you are, it was a cool place, check in there for further updates.) So yes, you can't see my layouts there anymore and I'm not checking in there.

I hope this post helps clarify for anyone who I may have inadvertently hurt through my actions. I wish all those wonderful people I have met over the years the best in their lives, and if they have time to check in, I'll still be updating this blog with tidbits from my life.

So, I'd love to hear from my readers, what kinds of things do you do to keep your life manageable?


TracyP said...

((HUGS)) good for you, for doing what you need to do to keep your life real for you!
People enter your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime! I think ours was just a season:)
know that if I don't cross paths with you again in this lifetime I have an will always be inspired by you:)

latte_grande said...

I've been guilty of being over-obsessed with the internet, too...totally know where you're coming from! I'm just coming back from my "break" and find that I'm now better able to manage my time online.
In my own personal IRL life (heehee), I'm a list person. While I was away in Texas, my DH implemented a menu plan. He and I create the menu for the entire week on Saturday, making out the grocery list at the same time, then I do the shopping. That's helped me IMMENSELY with not only time-management, but a feeling of self-worth. No more prowling through the cupboards at 6:30pm because time slipped away from me, I forgot to thaw out any meat, and now I have no idea what to make for we settle for cereal. That happened more often than I'd like to admit, and as a SAHM made me feel like a total failure! Sooo, in conclusion, the simple idea of a menu plan has been a HUGE help in organizing our household.
Next step: chore lists! I'm so excited! lol

Scott said...

As Minda's husband, Lover (yes with a capital L!) and best friend, I say to anyone who's trying to second guess her motives, stop wasting your time and start enriching your life! Minda is full-bore real, pulls no punches and really means what she says. She discovers what she needs to enrich her life and goes for it! That's all. (whisper) "I'm glad to have her back!"

{raisingAlexis} said...

Minda, you are the real thing - I wish I could force myself to spend less time online and enjoy what I love even more - reading and art. Not to mention my child!!!

Your title is perfect - No Worries!

Tami said...

i'll just second what Scott said.

Shan said...

i totally heart you. end of report.

Sara said...

Can I just say that while I haven't been reading/commenting on your blog much...I still love you?! You rock for knowing when to step aside and re-enter real life. Love that.


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