Friday, July 10, 2009

Running Away

Last Sunday (and for a couple of weeks before that) I had an emotionally charged day. Some spiritual friends of mine are going through some rough family times, and watching them struggle through it is bringing up my past. After a good deal of confession and angst, I went home at 5pm feeling like a wrung out wet blanket. And then was relieved that I wouldn't have cause to interact with my spiritual family for almost two weeks. Why did this make me relieved? Well, I think Oswald Chambers said it best today,

"The true test of our spirituality occurs when we come up against injustice, degradation, ingratitude, and turmoil, all of which have the tendency to make us spiritually lazy. While being tested, we want to use prayer and Bible reading for the purpose of finding a quiet retreat. We use God only for the sake of getting peace and joy. We seek only our enjoyment of Jesus Christ, not a true realization of Him. This is the first step in the wrong direction. All these things we are seeking are simply effects, and yet we try to make them causes. "

So as Hebrews 10 commands, my spiritual brothers and sisters, whether they mean to or not, have been stirring me up and I've been tempted to retreat. I know I need to reach out, even in the midst of this turmoil and not seek peace, but seek what God has for me in this moment.

In other retreat news, Scott, Andrew and I are headed off for a day of hot air balloon watching in Wausau Wisconsin. We hope for those nearly perfect conditions that are necessary for a good sunset balloon launch. Pictures to come in the next day or two if it comes off!

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