Sometimes when we are teaching Andrew something new in math, he tries to wrestle the control of the conversation away, and in an annoyed tone, tells us he already knows how to do the problem. Sometimes he is able to stumble through, but usually its a long painful process. Other times, of course he has no clue and so he sits in stony silence, an impasse reached, as he refuses to be taught and yet cannot solve his own problem.
Yesterday, Lisa and I were talking about her cousin. She has a rare form of leukemia and will be receiving treatment gratis at the Mayo Clinic because they want to study this cancer. The doctors chose her course of action, which requires her to spend 10 months in hospital, receiving a very intense cocktail of chemotherapy. Her chances are slim, but they believe without this treatment they are nonexistent. Most of us know about chemo and radiation. They are our main defense against cancer at this time, and are poisonous. The chemicals of the chemo are killers and we direct them toward the cancer, asking them to kill the out of control cancer cells to free the body from their tyranny. With radiation, we use a carefully controlled high level of killer particles to more precisely target the spot where the cancer cells have been spotted. Often, there are harsh side effects to these treatments. Sometimes these treatments do eliminate the cancer.
This is not an entry on being teachable or whether or not cancer should be treated. Those are just allegories to demonstrate God's way versus our way in all areas of our life.
So often we think we know what we need. Sometimes we correctly identify the problem, the thing that must be uprooted from our lives so that we can live fully, but then we take off toward dangerous and incomplete solutions. Sometimes we know there is something we need to be taught, but we stubbornly refuse to listen, and instead remain stuck in a place of discomfort and incompletion. Our true Teacher and Physician "shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory" (Philippians 4:19)
I Corinthians 3:18-20 Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, "He catches the wise in their own craftiness" and again, "The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile."
I want to continue to seek God's solution to my problems. I want to learn what He has for me to learn, the easy way, by listening to Him. I want to seek His healing in my life, a healing that only gives new life and doesn't harm the good in me.